“You did everything right.”

Those were the last words my lover said to her best friend, our beloved Fossil, as she fell asleep in her arms, and then passed away. I can’t even type it without dissolving into tears.  It was one of the saddest moments that I’ve ever had to witness in my life and because of that, this has been one of the toughest eulogies I’ve ever written. In fact, it has taken a full year to complete.  For as of today, it has been one year since we made the heartbreaking decision to say goodbye to the cutest and most darling little heartbeat at our feet.  Having worked in the Veterinary industry for over 20 years my wife, Jennifer, has often said that people remember (most) two occasions in their pets life: the day they get them and the day they have to say goodbye. In between those occasions, if you are lucky, there is much life lived to love, honor, and remember.

Fossil came into my life in the summer of 2006 and we had a lot to learn about each other; especially how we could both love her mother at the same time! Five years before that, Jennifer and  Fossil  found each other.  Fossil was being shipped to MA from an overcrowded shelter in southern Virginia.   At the time my beloved was meeting and transporting dogs for a shelter she worked for.  The other transporter knew my wife had a particular taste in dogs (fluffy, white, fuzzy balls of cuteness) and told her that she had a dog for her.  It was love at first sight for the two of them; unconditional love… that is what they had, right up until the very end.  Many people have wondered where her unique name came from; when Jennifer was naming her it evolved from “Amber” for her beautiful, warm brown eyes, to the oh-so perfect, Fossil.  Not a big story, but certainly part of her tale.  There were five years between the two of them before my arrival in her life; so while this is not at all meant to be a complete history, it is the best way I know how to remember and honour her.

I must preface this to say that I have always been a cat person and while we had a family dog while growing up, she was my mother’s dog and the care really didn’t fall to me, so I had not ever really known a bond with a pup, it was a very new thing for me.  When Jennifer and I fell in love, we each had three cats and she also had Fossil.  I wasn’t nervous about adding a dog to my tribe, we introduced her to my cats on Jennifer’s very first trip down to visit.  There were a few tense moments but all in all the  introductions went well. After the visit I hung a picture of Fossil and I very low on my refrigerator and wrote “we love Fossil” so that my cats could see it when she was between visits.  My favourite first story about her is that during that same first visit, Fossil, who rarely growled at any human person,  must have felt the terrible energy of my abusive ex and offered a low growl to her.  (Quick background: my ex refused to change her address back to DC after we broke up, so she still came to pick up her mail at my apartment, power move, but that’s another story.) Jennifer was walking out with Fossil when she started to growl and when she looked down the stairs she saw my ex.  I always took that moment to mean that this oh-so-cute and darling dog was meant to be in my life.

Damn, she was such a happy dog.  She loved to be around people, enjoyed affection and attention, and everywhere she went she was “ooohhhed” and “aaaaahhhhed” over.  I can call to mind her slow, happy tail swing,  just thinking about it.  She was fantastic with cats and goodness, was she ever outnumbered by them.  I particularly enjoyed fostering kittens with Fossil, she enjoyed it, loved licking their milky faces and gave them quite the introduction to dogs! Two years into our relationship we decided to add another dog to our family.  We had brought a couple other dogs home for her to meet, but none of them really vibed and then Jennifer brought a lanky, and nerdy one year old home, and just like that, a pack was born.   She was the boss lady for the majority of the years that they spent together, but in her older and slower days, she would often look to him for comfort.  The changing of roles was evident, and sweet and a bit painful, too.

As cute as she was, she was the epitome of a junkyard dog: she loved to dig and explore and get dirty and she quite enjoyed eating poop – cat and dog! Many dogs I’ve known have needed another pet, or person to keep them entertained but Fossil was perfectly content to entertain herself, and you could often find her on a rug, on her back with a some kind of plushie toy between her front paws.  She was also the ultimate road dog; I cannot tell you how many miles she and Jennifer traveled before my arrival, but I know without a doubt that we clocked over 100,000 miles in the 10 years that we were a family.  She would be all pepped up to go for a “ride” and then would promptly fall asleep as soon as we started moving.  She could be quite naughty at times and mostly,  it was cute and fodder for a joke, okay, all the time it was cute, except for maybe that time when she tore up the bathroom in the small apartment we were renting… but even that memory makes me laugh like crazy.

Fossil is our fourth baby my beloved and I have lost over the last 11 years.   She was predeceased by Petunia, Gertrude and Lucy.

I loved her with my whole entire heart.   In all respects, she was my very first dog. There is a different element to being a dog owner and I was so fucking lucky to have been taught by her.   I learned much about myself because of her existence in my life and I will forever be touched and grateful for that.  We miss her terribly, we always will.  She was such a good girl and she did everything right.

Fossil 2001- 8/30/2016